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jesusfreak1602
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read my profile
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Name: Molly
Gender: Female
Interests: reading.singing loudly.pancakes.
hunting.4-wheeling through
mud holes.music.poorly
drawing.gummy bears.ultimate
frisbee.deep conversations.
jumping in puddles.polka dotted skirts.seals.pancakes.around
the world ping pong.thunder
storms.high heels.dogs.showers.
talking.lasagna.meeting new people.pancakes.sports.favorite
colors.whys.eye contact.chess.
driving.rain.walking.
pancakes.shopping.dirt.
laughing.
Message: message me
AIM:  mollyjean216
MSN: mollyjean_89@hotmail.com
Yahoo:  mollyjean_89
Member Since:
6/27/2005
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| Sleep.
Anxious sleep for birds flutter around making me fail.
A babbling brook over flows.
It scalds.
I lower my head in to see birds drop from the sky, the clouds move providing me detail.
I bury the birds to lie in a puddle.
Gears stop and go astray.
Empty I soar, unwind, disappear, allowing me to see.
I see!
Run.
Run to dance to demons away.
Awake in fresh puddles.
Keep Silent!
Dogs sniff around, but smile and they leave.
Pass out ear plugs so they don't see.
It's absurd.
Hurt to Numb.
Stop, Stop!
Banish the awful thoughts only they multiply in absence.
Sleep?
First I must bury the birds.
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| Last Saturday my dog got ran over by a car, and when I get older I don't want to forget him. These are my fondest memories of my dog Puppy.
The
first thing that i would say as I entered my house was never "Honey I'm
Home!", "Mom I'm Home!", or even "Hello!", but it was "Puppy Power!!",
and with those words I would see the cutest beagle puppy turn the
corner and run at me with the utmost speed. With that I would drop to
my knees and he would put his paws on my shoulders as I would proceed
to pet him. I always had a different relationship with my pet then the
rest of my family, we were always...closer. I wouldn't go as far as to
say that I was their favorite, but we definitely had a unique bond that
the rest of the family didn't. I remember staying up until the wee
hours of the night talking to Puppy and trying to sort out all of my
problems, and although he seemed as if he didn't care I always knew he
did because as soon as I would begin to cry or get frustrated he would
place his head on my leg as if to say "Well, I love you".
When I would want to play I would look at him as say "Hrothgar", as
manly as I possibly could, and he would jump down from his chair and
grab his toy of choice, usually rabbit ( a stuffed rabbit from dollar
general). We would play until he one, accidentally bit me, or two I got
tired.
He liked a lot of treats, the two I would always give him were: peppermints, and cockroaches
peppermints
started when I accidently dropped a peppermint on the floor in my room
and he quickly ate it. Then every time I said peppermint he would cock
his head and run to me, he was so filled with excitement and joy
because of those little peppermints. HAHA, Cockroaches are almonds!!!
Puppy loved almonds!! When our basement floods we get water roaches for
a couple of days, we spray, they go away, and the cycle repeats itself
next time the basement floods, Well my mom and I HATE cockroaches so I
thought it would be funny to teach puppy (in secret) to eat the almond
on the floor when I said "cockroach", so when my mom is in the basement
and saw a cockroach and scream "COCKROACH OH MY" Puppy would run to her
all excited, and who could be scared with Puppy by their side. When my
mom foung out she yelled at me, and made me stop, but I never really
did.
I remember the last time I went home. It was about 2 in the
morning, and the whole family was asleep, including Puppy who was in my
brothers room. I wanted so badly to wake him up, but decided it was
best if I surprised him. I went to sleep...alone. At about 5 in the
morning (my brother got up to go hunting with my step father) I felt
something jump on me!! I popped up and realized it was Puppy, and with
an obvious joy I let out a loud high pitched "PUPPY!!" Oh, he was so
excited to see me, he spun around in circles in my lap and jumped on
me, then tried to lick me, but was unsuccessful because I wouldn't let
him. He continued this for quite some time before I lied back down to
go back to sleep, and he walked to the end of my bed sat down put his
front paws on my leg followed by his head, and fell asleep with me
until we awoke around noon.
The last time I saw him was Sunday
night right before I left to go back to school. I sat down on the
ground and instinctively he ran to me. I looked him in the eyes and
told him that I was leaving, but not to worry because I would be back
in 3 and a half weeks. I got up looked at mom and said "He doesn't
understand, but I would feel bad if left without saying goodbye." With
that I left for college already planning to stop by Casey's on the way
home next time and buy him a bag of peppermints for Christmas. That
night my mom called to tell me that puppy was laying on my bed waiting
for me to come home, I wanted nothing more than to drive home to see
him but I couldn't. I missed him very much. He was the only reason I
looked forward to coming home.
Saturday my mother called me to
tell me that Puppy had got hit by a car, and didn't make it. I was
crushed. It was like my best friend had died. I told him everything! He
knew more than my best friend, my ex-boyfriend, and my mother combined.
I shared secrets with him that I had never told anybody. He was the
only thing that I really missed back home. He was the only "person" I
trusted, and he was gone. I wasn't even there. I couldn't comfort him
as he had done for me on those late nights. He died alone, on the side
of a cold road while I was here, two hours away.
I miss him.
Puppy. HA I was the only one who called him that. Everyone else called
him Boss, but Boss was hard for him to hear because it didn't have many
consonant in it, but Puppy was easier for him to pick out of a
sentence, it was easier for him to recognize. Everyone hated it...at
first, then slowly he began to listen to it better, more. Then I found
my mom and brother using it, but oddly he didn't listen to him like he
did me. The only way he would listen to them, when calling him puppy,
was if they said it high pitched and sounded like me. It was my name
for him, and no one else really ever used it. HA HA, it always made my
brother mad when the dog would come to puppy over boss. We used to have
competitions from across the room, I won.
Puppy Power!!
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| How does one discern chemical love from God-has-chosen-him-for-me love?
As
God's children we are called to love, love our neighbors, love our
enemies, and love ourselves. How do we love? Love is patient, kind, and
gentle, so we love by being patient, kind and gentle.
But what is love? I know how to express it, but what is it?
Love is chemicals in one's head that creates the feeling of passionate affection for another.
Recap: Love is chemicals that create affection, and is expressed with a kind and gentle attitude.
Friend
love I understand, but how does one differentiate between romantic
God-has-chosen-them-for-me love and chemicals-are-mixing-in-my-brain
love?
-The instinctive answer would be to pray, but if one prays
then the chemicals in one's head could fool them into believing that
God is giving them the "go ahead". When in reality God is saying no,
but we can not hear him over our "feelings".
-The second answer
would be "you just know", but yet again, would one have a sixth sense
and know or would one's chemicals get in the way of "just knowing"? I
believe that the chemicals would mold one's feelings into superficial
love and not God love.
-The third answer would be "what does your
heart tell you?". This too would not work, for one's "heart" is
symbolism, an analogy, a metaphor, or what not, for one's feelings. So,
in reality the question is "what do your feelings tell you?". One's
feelings are controlled by the mind, the mind thinks with chemicals,
and chemicals are electrical manipulations in the brains that are
interpreted as feelings. So, again the question would be "what are your
chemicals telling you?". Now this is just a silly question because our
chemicals will tell us we are in love because that is our instinct, but
not "God chosen" love.
Anyone can be in love with anyone: so how does one know "God chosen" love from "brain" love?
Arthur
Arun conducted a study where students performed three steps, find a
complete stranger, reveal the most intimate details of your lives for a
half an hour, and then stare in to each other's eyes for four minutes
(without talking). Surprisingly the couples reported being passionately
attracted to one another, and as stated earlier: love is chemicals in
one's head that creates the feeling of passionate attraction for one
another. With that being said, the subjects loved each other. One
couple later got married.
I hear people say "I know I will
marry them because I love them and God told me.", or "God told me that
it is ok to date them." How do they know? How does one put aside their
natural instincts, feelings, and thought processes to be able to fully
say that God told them? How do they know that it is God and not just
their "feelings", that God is "oking" the relationship? They "feel" God
said it was right, but before they prayed did they not already "feel"
attracted? In that respect their answer from "God" is bias.
I
might be missing something, I might not know how to pray correctly, or
maybe I am thinking to much, but I do not know how to know if it is
God-chosen love or human-instinct-chemical love. When I do fall in love
I do not want it to be superficial-chemical-instinct love, or
I-am-dependent-on-you love. I want
God-given-meant-for-each-other-you're-a-good-addition-to-my-completed-self
love. I want to find God-glorifying love, but how does one go about
that with all of these chemicals in the way. Yes I know God created
these chemicals so they have some truth in them, but when man was
casted out of the Garden of Eden we became flawed, imperfect, and
sinful. Our chemicals became flawed, imperfect, and sinful, so how does
one get past the flawed "feelings" to what really matters, what God
says? | | |
| Have you ever wondered what it would be like to fly? I have multiple
times, and in fact that is my only mode of transportation in my dreams,
so I have wondered/imagined this often. The reason I ask is because
when I was rock climbing and repelling, it felt like I could fly. The
first time I climbed I took the easy slope, well easier compared to
some, and when I reached the top nothing really happened. Don't get me
wrong, I felt extreme joy for having reached the top, but nothing to
grand. Next I went repelling. That was AMAZING! I am convinced that
flying would feel something like that, combined with other things of
course, the feeling of dropping yourself over the edge of a cliff and
soaring down the side of it was the most exhilarating thing I have ever
done. As I reached the point where rock no longer steadied me, I
decided to let myself free fall. I fell with all of gravity
accelerating my body until I was about two feet from the ground. I
slowed myself to a stop five inches before my feet hit the ground, talk
about an adrenaline rush. "Now that" I thought to myself "that was
flying!"Once I was done repelling I decided to take a stab at the
hardest climbing slope, and after having seen two guys (Dino and Nick)
go before me I was ready to try my best. I started out a little slow,
but once I got about 10 feet up I got the hang of it. I felt like a
spider, I don't particularly like spiders, but I felt as if I could
stop gripping the crevices and stick to the side; although I know I
couldn't the thoughts were fun to toy with. A few moments later I
reached the top and that is when I really felt as if I had flown. I
felt a sort of anti gravitational feeling to where I thought I could
float into the air and never come down, and as I look down the cliff
that I had just climbed I envisioned myself leaping off of it and
soaring through the trees. I truly think that is what if would feel
like to fly, to be weightless and soar among the birds. I don't think I
am explaining this as well as I felt it, so try and use your
imagination. | | |
| I sometimes wonder if my anger is irrational or if is called for. How
would one really know, considering emotions blind a person from
thinking reasonably? I suppose I should tell you my dilemma, and then,
if by chance, I am being irrational, please tell me.
I had two
dogs back at home, hint: I am in college, and they were very old, 12
years old I believe. One of them recently got extremely sick to the
point where she couldn't walk, but the other was alright. My mother and
step father (Mark and Sherry) decided that she was in too poor of a
condition to take to the vet and the other was morning , they feared
that a trip to the vet would only frighten them more. So without
calling my sister (Cassie) or I, Mark decides to take matters into his
own hands and shoots my dogs!!!! He shot them! Vets do make house calls
for situations such as those. Even if shooting them with a gun were the
only option, should he not call Cassie and I to take our opinions, they
were our dogs? I am very hurt and very disappointed and very angry with
my parents decision, but I suppose I am mostly hurt for they were my
dog to an I had no say in the matter. On top of all everything else, I
am deeply sad that I lost my dogs for I loved/love them dearly.
Is it right of me to be angry with my parents decision, or is emotion clouding my judgment? | | |
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